Cleopatra's Perfume

A true story...

It was told to me in all sincerity, dear reader, by the antiquarian book dealer who sold me this priceless gem; the manuscript I present you with today is a genuine, third hand translation of the original reproduction - memorised by an assistant pot washer who worked part time at the alchemical laboratory of Ho-leah Wood.

I was further led to believe that the formule in question was originally composed in the depths of antiquity by order of the Late Phaeroh and Queen of Egypt – Cleopatra.

They tell me that it was done when she tired of the perfumed salve her servants would apply to to her royal heid, smelling darkly as it did of : honey, cardamom, wine, ciste, myrrh, raisins, incense, cloves, mastic, benjoin and other materials known only to the high priest of the Temple. ‘Tis also said that the unguent was of such consistency, that her royalness could not wash the stuff from her hair for many a day thereafter.

The Empress therefore ordered the notable Alchemist Maitre Ben Ayim to engage upon the production of a uniquely fangled elixir based on the sprits of wine, and the scenting of which was to elicit her beauty, and to be taylored to her personage - accordingly; as she was the most wealthy, powerful and famous woman in the whole of the ancient world.

The manuscript which I faithfully reproduce today is therefore understood by all antiquaries, and most notable experts, to be the product of an exigent demande by her most royal pharonickness the Queen.

MANUSCRIPT

Take ye the Spirits of persic and candelwick, flowers of the Rose of Turque, jessamens and ye tuber rosa of the Frankes of Gresse. Also riche woodes and warm spyce, sweet powdered roote of oris, white lys and narcisse. Add to spirits of wine and pass through the alembyc. Now : with the poddes of vanille, resine of ciste and olibane ( if ye regarde ye violettes also put them in ) And be shure to find patchouly leaf, mosse of oake and ye ambergries, for to fortifie withal.

Place in a cool cellar for nyne passes of ye moone; have thy apprentice turn the vessel closed by the week.

When the cask be breached, and the water thereof be drawn, adde the pressed skins of the pomodoro, flower of orange, and ye bergames of Sicil. Leave again to turn by the app. for another nine passes of the moone —-till all hath attained a honeyed sweetniss and juste proportion and thus be agreeable on ye noze.

Makes of ane fyne parfume.

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END OF MANUSCRIPT

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Can you tell what it is ?

Answers on a postcard to bibi@plaisanter.co

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